Recent Comments

Brisstar
5/19/20, 1:32 AM
Been a really good read just discovered them and loved round 2 as well. hopefully more you talented writers can add to both these stories. i know its a few months on now though...
5/18/20, 11:41 PM
Thank you bucke, blankbot, and Kyle Chu for your support and approval. This time I around I was a bit unsure about this leg of the story (a bit of my inner perfectionist rearing its ugly head), but hearing from you guys makes me glad I stepped away from the story and then came back to it and posted it. Kyle, I went back and looked at the original story and the baby recruiters do make Roberts and the other detectives have erections, but nothing else. Also Jason is there calling the shots so their masturbation is largely centered around Jason bringing them in. It's Jason's method of recruitment; with no Jason in this story I don't have to be as faithful to that part of the original. The recruiter bites Captain Collins on the neck, most likely in the carotid artery, so I'm true to the original, just not as specific as the original. As to the workman, it's not Jason; just someone who works in the mayors office who has been converted. But Jason does make an appearance in the next section, so your intuition is working.
5/18/20, 11:29 PM
Finally i can connect as post my review very nice chapter i like very much the design of the Restrain machine and the purpose for the addition data collecting i wanna ask the reddish brown haired boy is someone from the italyan block?
Elm
5/18/20, 10:53 PM
I love this story! hopefully you can continue it at some point. Take care!
5/18/20, 10:51 PM
I agree with bucke! This is getting really awesome. I also think you've improved on capturing the essence of Wishbone's writing. You are doing a good job, New Guy. I love men in suits and the Captain's conversion was very, very sexy. A slight criticism, though. If I remember correctly, the way the recruits worked in the original story was that the wristband did the sting and the men immediately had a painful erection. Then when the snake coils around their bodies and bites their carotid artery, the lust venom makes them ejaculate and then theyre converted into slaves. It's no big deal really, but I feel like its important to stay true to the source material. But the cocoon stuff that you added, the oath of service and the black uniform are such great additions that you made. I also love the cameo from Jason in the end (at least I assumed it was him). Overall, such a stellar job. Please keep writing more!
5/18/20, 10:41 PM
no problem
5/18/20, 10:34 PM
This is a thoroughly engaging, well-written series. I hope there are many more posts to come.
5/18/20, 10:27 PM
Sorry Darkblade2814, i couldn't quite get with . maybe one day I'll rewrite it, I'm sure i can do better.
5/18/20, 10:12 PM
I hope he gets the police chief too!
Anonymous
5/18/20, 10:06 PM
i wish you could give us a description of how Mikey, sorry McFaggy looks. For no reason I imagine him pale, tall, brown hair, cuter than handsome, and not really that fat but chubby enough to get enough mocks about his weight. that's me, but I'd like to know how you imagine him