Recent Comments

Anonymous
5/25/22, 12:53 PM
Good start. I'd love to read more of this story!
5/25/22, 12:48 PM
Oh fuck, you found a way to make this even hotter and give Gabriel everything he wanted, but also to make it a curse. Amazing. This has turned into one of the very best stories I’ve ever read on this site. Thanks again.
5/25/22, 10:34 AM
Pretty impressive, and definitely a hot concept. As others have said, it does feel written in a hurry. The fact that it was done on commission is irrelevant, from a pure _technical writing_ perspective it's just... it has a bit of a first-draft feel. A couple of specific suggestions: 1. There's actually only one instance (that I caught) of character-name confusion, which is better than average TBH, but in this sentence: "Nate got more jeers and laughs from the lads, but Nate stepped in." the second "Nate" should be "Sean". 2. Using two completely different meanings for "tank" simultaneously is distracting. I would change all instances of "tank" as a storage container for — well, I guess cum — to "vat". (Which you actually do also use at one point, but then slip back into "tank".) Because, for example, this: > Sean continued “You were always gonna come here man! I knew you would THE SECOND they said they needed a tank to take all this-“ he slapped his hand onto the huge tank, collected partly from the huge freak that was being drained beside him. would be way easier to follow like this: > Sean continued “You were always gonna come here man! I knew you would THE SECOND they said they needed a tank to take all this-“ he slapped his hand onto the huge vat, collected partly from the huge freak that was being drained beside him.
5/25/22, 8:50 AM
It just keeps getting better!
5/25/22, 6:02 AM
need part 2!
5/25/22, 5:44 AM
My bf actually got me into this kind of raceplay in the other direction, but I like both. :) Glad to see an overlooked subgenre getting some love!
5/25/22, 5:21 AM
“This wasn’t a 10 minute quickie. This was his life now.” You really get to the important bits, and know when to speed up or slow down. It’s an enviable skill! I’m loving how deep Lucky is now! And now that’s he’s in chastity, he’s very little control left. What a horny and great chapter!
5/23/22, 4:12 PM
Whoa. Part of me found this very hot. Another part did not. In the early time of my life i remember wishing my tormenters would turn helplessly queer and suffer like i did. But at the point where i accepted and loved my difference and the joy it gave me, i didnt want to share the wonder and pleasure of it with anyone from the 'outside'. Over time the idea of Forcing the change and them Hating it, has intrigued and attracted me. But while I appreciate your inventive idea, having been a victim of rape myself, this one came to personally close for comfort for me to rate it. Still, thanks for the hard work and submitting it to the group!

5/25/22, 5:06 AM
@RoboticExperiment3 Thank you for reading anyways! We all deal with trauma in the same way, and I wrote this reflecting my rape and gender identity struggles. It's definitely not for everyone, but I appreciate your respectfulness :)
Jamiemboy
5/25/22, 2:39 AM
So Hot 😁🔥
Evan
5/25/22, 2:14 AM
A very unique concept and so, so well executed. I'm loving the musk control, the obliviousness and malleability of the victim. Delicious. The confusion over cumming both in his ass and not at the same time was very well done. And entirely in line with what you'd expect him to be thinking.