Recent Comments

boi98229
3/21/21, 7:47 PM
Not very original plot, but very well set up and well written. It was still really arousing. I am looking forward to more to see where you take the story now.
Anonymous
3/21/21, 7:37 PM
Oh that makes sense! I myself was actually wondering if Tom would eventually get Ben by dosing the shower water but apparently not 😅
3/21/21, 7:36 PM
I'm loving the story. I can't wait to see where it goes next. I have just an advice for you: proofread the story for mistakes and such. Keep on going man!❤
3/21/21, 6:33 PM
BPtime, I had that thought too after I finished writing the story. My handwavey answer is that, no, the guy who fixed the pump didn't actually try any of the water (or if he did, it was just a sip, not enough to affect him). This is also my answer to the question of why Ben isn't affected by showering or brushing his teeth.
Anonymous
3/21/21, 6:32 PM
Originally, this was supposed to be for the "fallen hero" contest but was released as a story like that, not sure why. Didn't fit, probably. So that explain the rushed aspect. Yeah, with that ending I came up almost on the fly, a sequel would be nice, but I don't think I will come back to it immediately. I have other things in my life and other stories I want to focus on. But I guess I want to explore a relationship where both are mind-controlling the other in an unhealthy way. Thanks for the encouragement. I guess it'll be a series.
3/21/21, 6:27 PM
I'm excited to see what will happen next!
3/21/21, 6:00 PM
Great world-building, well thought-out action. A terrific accomplishment for people who like exposition and plot in their stories. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Anonymous
3/21/21, 5:11 PM
wow!!! that was hot... I'd love to hear what happened when the guys hit the gym...
3/21/21, 4:59 PM
I thought there was going to be a section where Twofer reacts to the story going out on Darryn's blog. This is a really interesting premise that could go in many different directions.
3/21/21, 4:51 PM
This reminded me of some of POW's stories but it was indeed wholesome whereas POW's can get exceedingly dark. A fascinating premise here for sure.