Recent Comments

11/4/20, 4:33 AM
If Ethan arrived home late at night & found his parents sound asleep, wouldn't he be tempted to whip-out his device & change their past memories of him & Tommy ? Perhaps they'd remember what a total disappointment Tommy has always been to them. How he was always so weak,& un-athletic , & how happy they were when Ethan grew into a 'Real Man' ! While Ethan was a champ in every sport he tried [just look at all his trophy's], weak little Tommy was in his room playing with Barbi dolls [!!!] While manly Ethan & his Dad bonded over their interest in sports [& Ethan was well-hung, like his manly Dad], little Tommy would wet his pants if they even tried to have him participate in a sport ! Tommy would prefer to help his Mom, cleaning & cooking...Sometimes she even suspected that he was trying-on her lacy panties when she wasn't home[!!] She tried not to think about it or tell her husband [figuring it might have something to do with Tommy's genes, since he was so slightly built & had such a pathetically little penis ]... Thank God they could send their one true manly son off to college to look after his little brother !!!
LHX
11/4/20, 4:09 AM
Where can I see the follow-u
11/4/20, 3:41 AM
Whoops. I meant "Wesley comes back", but it was Braxton anyway.
11/4/20, 3:27 AM
PLZ continue this I love how the story is built up.
11/4/20, 2:59 AM
I don't think we can rule Asher out yet. The presence of a true supernatural force plays with the rules. if this followed the rules of the original "And Then There Were None", Asher would not have been the first victim. The order of the victims correlated with the evil of their crimes. Asher not only ruined the life of a person in the long term, but that person was his own brother. That being said, Theo's kitchen texting is intriguing, and the fact that Wesley comes backwater having moved away puts him on my list as well. From a transformation fetishist standpoint, the transformation was hot on its own, and the demon corruption added to it makes me want to read it over and over. great job to Bigger, and I look forward to more
11/4/20, 2:53 AM
Ha! You don't expect the "straight man" to be the one affected by the magic. I mean it's his own fault, he did ask about the price but then blew it off when the baron was already out the door. (That's totally the dragon in human form I bet...).
11/4/20, 2:34 AM
Nicely done! there are a few grammatical errors or possibly typoes. A couple word choices are a little anachronistic in a fantasy setting but those are just minor things really. A little more info on the captive's appearance would be great, I'm curious if he's like a beast-headed man or a human with some animalistic traits.
11/4/20, 2:22 AM
A little religious terminology distinction: Catholic churches have fathers, not pastors. That does throw things off to hear you speak of a pastor of Catholic church.
11/4/20, 2:22 AM
such a great teaser of what's to come!
11/4/20, 1:59 AM
I somehow didn't feel it was very hot. It was like shooting fish in a barrel it was so easy to take the protagonist under control. I think it would be hotter if you got into his mind and let him experience the fear and horror of making this monumental mistake. As it is, he's quickly a nonentity and I have no emotional connection to him and his circumstances. It's an interesting premise but I just feel like the story could have more depth. You can get past that by making the story hot enough or maybe building the control up. Honestly I expected the protagonist to find some harmless but alarming triggers programmed in and to go along for a day or two before being really caught and realizing that actually he had already been caught on the first day and was just dangling like a puppet on a string and just not realizing it.