@ Hypno-Tales Thank you so much! I'm really happy you enjoyed it~ For me, slow burn is the best type for mind control. Following a protagonist that is resistant at first and them seeing all the weird changes around, not noticing it's happening to them too. As for Billy, I admit I never really had that much planned for him. The main two characters were always going to be Matt and Conor. Billy was there to be the one who changes fast so that the two could interact with someone going through the changes. But if I had to say where Billy fell a hundred percent into his trance, I'd say it was during gym class, with the Master paying the team a visit and making them fall completley and having them stop playing the game and start screwing right then and there. As for his costume, Billy was meant to be a Frankstein's Monster. Tattered shirt with a jacket over top, dark hair. I kinda forgot to add the detail of the two metal pegs on his neck. My bad~

I loved it. From beginning to end. Since I'm neither English nor American, I can't comment on the speech and accents, but I liked the little details like Conor singing "metric" when Matt talked about miles, for example. What I have liked the most is undoubtedly the slow evolution of the story, the subtle progressive way in which they fall into a collective trance. The way Billy doesn't realize the food tastes sweet, or the way he wears a tattered black shirt ... or how Conor and Matt think they're going without any change but they're barefoot. Overall, I found it to be a delightful story, charming as well as sexy, funny and intriguing. And I really liked the different cute costumes. If I had to mention something that I would have liked to be different, it would be that I wish I had had more interventions from Billy. I would have liked to see more about that strong boy friend of Conor and Matt, he seemed like a very interesting and charming (and sexy) character, and I would have liked to have seen a scene where we see him completely fall into a trance. Or that he had a naughty role in the finale, when Matt is tied up in the chair. And I'm not sure what his costume was. Other than that, this is a great story!

> As nycboot said above, the military guys didn’t interest him. I felt the same way. > It's my fault! I had to slow them down by a day, because I realized if they'd gotten out when I wanted them to -- around chap14 -- at their speed, they would be too far away when I needed them. So I had to stall them and that slowed the sub-plot's energy. I'll make up for it in future action. I'll win you over yet.

this was hot. id love to see some of tommy's physical changes next chapter after ethans suggestion. and maybe ethan might start bulking up?

In previous stories, the function of a drone was to serve its human Master, if society is now made up of drones, what has happened with the continuity of the other stories.

As nycboot said above, the military guys didn't interest him. I felt the same way. I still do, not in a bad sense, just in a preference rating. But the escape scene excelled. It was alive and full of action with an erotic undertone, and the smell of sweat, that we have all fantasied about seeing in military or action movies. I very much enjoyed it. When Dobie went into Spiderman mode, my only thought was my face in his ass.

Great series. Only complaint is the installments are too short. . . But that must mean it's good!

My only regret is that it can't be next Friday already. The question of what the Deputy will be like once he is host to a Great One has been on my mind ever since Lane revealed his plan. And I take this as confirmation that my guess as to the crucial difference between the Great One hosts was correct...

> You didn’t mention it here but I’m really curious about the new “Great One” and what’s to become of the deputy. It seems that when a human becomes a great one, most of his human desires are removed and he’s just a vessel for the symbiont. > As originally plotted, this chapter had three vignettes, but after finishing the soldiers' section, I'd already crossed 4K words. I like a chapter length to be around 3-3.5K, so I decided to punt the third vignette to the opening of Chap 18. In terms of plot flow, it's a strong move, but it would have answered your question. All we know of Great Ones at this point is based on our observations of the Great One in Kansas. We mentioned a few chapters back that when Old Man Bowden transformed into the Great One, his physical body died -- and was subsequently revived by the plant. In my opinion, the union of the Old Man and the Great Plant was not equal, so it's not a true symbiosis. In that case, the plant seems to be running everything, using the Old Man's memory and knowledge as a behavioral template. The Deputy is young and strong and willful. Whether he becomes the same type of Great One as the Old Man has yet to be revealed -- until chapter 18...

Thank you for even taking my humble suggestions into consideration..[I think we're on a similar wave-length as I've enjoyed many of the same stories that you've selected..just wish I was half the writer you are !!!].... Please start chapter 2 with a brief rehash of the important last suggestion that Tommy was given by his brother...Since his memories are being changed, it would be very hot for us to read what his new altered memories of his earlier youth NOW are ! ...Since he now thinks of himself as having always been a weak, skinny little non-athletic NERD with a tiny little PEE-PEE, it would be very exciting to 'relive' some of his 'new', implanted memories of high school and home life, as well as what he now thinks he has always thought of his strong, manly & now in his mind , 'older' & manlier brother...Remember little boys have a more juvenile vocabulary, referring to their penis as their 'wee wee' or 'pee pee', when going to the restroom they say their going to the potie or doing #1 or #2, referring to their parents as Mommy or Daddy, etc.....[I still think you might consider putting him in diapers for his own protection [??] Although it would definitely hurt the story if he dropped-out of school,[ although his teachers might notice his now more child-like behavior & that his grades have dropped to well below average], he should find he now has to study twice as hard, since his schoolwork is now far too advanced for his more child-like understanding... Also, regardless of being 'straight' or ''gay', Tommy's interest in women should now totally revert to a 'pre-puberty' level, his thinking of them now only as possible 'care givers'or mommy substitutes.. As I previously mentioned, at some point toward the end of the story, ether by accident or deliberately his brother might use his device on himself, turning himself [at least, in his own mind] into the kind of 'Real Man' he has always wished he was & has now already permanently created in his older brothers mind, as well as really seeing and treating his NOW totally weak, little [inferior] & now 'younger' brother the way he has 'recreated' him to be.[ He might even turn into something of a macho Homophobe & mean Bully in regards to his now inferior little 'fag' of a brother!].....Of course if you're planning a substantially longer story, this amazing device could then be brought into their HOME & the boy's Parent's could have their former perceptions & past memories of their two sons totally & permanently changed as well..I Would love to see how their Mom & especially their macho Dad would than treat them...[Something to at least think about??? ?]...Sorry I've gone on so long, but its been exciting to be able to actually 'talk' to the author of a story you really love...