Recent Comments

9/13/20, 10:09 AM
Agreed with the two suggestions above. The last section felt especially rushed, more like a story outline than an actual story. Also, this would be a perfect story in which to give us some of the protagonist's interior monologue--right now, the reader is a little distanced from what Jeremy is actually thinking and feeling. Finally, when writing a story that will be read online, shorter paragraphs tend to work better. But the premise here is very hot, and you should be congratulated on writing your first story!
9/13/20, 9:23 AM
oh man,I hope Dan somehow let's Bob stay an alpha,even on his knees. He can still be a proud nordic warrior by serving a greater master. Great chapter,showed Bob's internal conflict. Really liked the idea of tricking Bob into obeying by playing into his alpha nature
Anonymous
9/13/20, 9:22 AM
I agree with previous comment, slow down and savor each scene, and build on it. good idea, but it was rushed.
Anonymous
9/13/20, 4:50 AM
Great story! It was really interesting to see a bottom that acted like a top, it ain't that common to read over here. You should totally do an epilogue if you want.
9/13/20, 1:34 AM
Ah, I am so glad you decided to add feet into this <3
9/13/20, 1:32 AM
I've waited so long for this series to be continued, i can wait for more. I've always been a fan of this and can't wait to see where it goes!
9/13/20, 1:05 AM
Damn, I loved that! From beginning to end. The diversion from the narrative was fantastic. I smiled all the way through it thinking, "I want to be able to write like this one day." And another evolution about to take place. Hot hot hot...a 5 starrer in all categories! Now to jerk off to this and in the spirit of the story, I'm using coconut oil.
9/12/20, 11:02 PM
That was a really sweet ending which is unusual for this site. Well done.
9/12/20, 10:41 PM
The classic chloroform tactic is back! I really missed this element from your stories, and I'm so glad you posted twice this month! Always a treat to have your stories on the site and I'm looking forward for more!
NZdom
9/12/20, 10:24 PM
this is so hot ! love the mental torture. looking forward to more of your writing :)