Recent Comments

Anonymous
5/13/17, 2:38 PM
I like the premise... I hope you do something HOT with it
5/13/17, 1:02 PM
Ah, sorry for being unclear. It's not as if I found the story bad. The story is interesting, it has potential and I will be reading the next part. Possession is fairly rare here, too, and, as I said earlier, you write well. High intelligence is not troubling by itself, but it feels like a contradiction in the robber, considering his lifestyle. The stereotype... well, let's get back to that depending on how this continues. But it is a fair point that I'm also kinda complaining about deviating from a stereotype robber. (It's just that, to me, to be credible as a character a small-time robber needs to have his intelligence compensated with, say, poor impulse control.) Naturally you're under no obligation to please me. I was trying to be constructive, but I guess my tone was a bit too sharp. Still, do note what jarred me most was the "do my homework"-thing and scale by that.
Anonymous
5/13/17, 12:49 PM
Amazing. Love the big butt
Anonymous
5/13/17, 12:30 PM
Very well written, though it's too dark for me.
Marvyn
5/13/17, 12:12 PM
Sorry you didn't like the story, Viridian. Not sure what you mean by race stereotypes - I actually like badass niggas, being one myself. If people like this exist [and they do] they are not stereotypes, really. I also made this guy highly intelligent, but that also seemed to trouble you. My bad, I guess.
5/13/17, 11:46 AM
What jarred me most was the "do my homework"-thing transported from grade school into university. The robber's narrative voice seems way too bright for the life he was leading, unless he just got a brain upgrade. What's with the race stereotypes? You can do race change without wading neck-deep in "badass niggas".
5/13/17, 11:01 AM
This was very well written. The racist stereotype nature of the changes makes me uneasy liking this, but I justify it by thinking the reality changer was a really nasty piece of work.
5/13/17, 10:46 AM
As other have said, hot. I liked it a lot and this was definitely not too subtle. Good progression, too.
May 12, 2017
5/13/17, 10:42 AM
This was fun. More of the Captain, please.
5/13/17, 10:38 AM
Excellent writing, as usual. I liked the way you got into Hank's thoughts, and the seeming camaraderie at the house. I felt like the revelations at the end were about to fall into the commonplace, but then you mostly skirted that with sheer hotness and being enthusiastically detailed . Good work :-)