Recent Comments

Anonymous
4/25/17, 1:47 AM
Great job, Edlam! I was so excited to see this next chapter, and it didn't disappoint. Love the crossover, too. Thanks for writing. I eagerly await your next installment.
Anonymous
4/25/17, 1:42 AM
Also agree that the switching is a little too dazzling ... I somehow became distracted when reading the Alex part ... and the professor and the ginger family brought me back. But too short! The crossover indeed shocks and excites me in a "meaningful" fashion, though. Go! Go! Go! Your story is still my indulgence as always.
A SAN FRANCISCO FAN !!!
4/25/17, 1:07 AM
Edlam, your a wonderful 'erotic' writer & I'v been a fan since the first chapter [ a year & a half ago], so I'm oh so sorry to tell you that, for the first time this story didn't even give me a hard-on !...It would have been more effective as three or four distinct chapters [with more detail in each], rather than this back & forth between sites & subjects...Just when one location & its characters is starting to get interesting, Zap we're off to another situation...Weither one likes 'scat' & blood, the police stuff has become sloppy & unfocused...I personally also feel the 'love' between Alex & Bill is uncalled for and weakens the basic concepts upon which the Alex character was built [+ Bill is uninteresting]. Again, I'm sorry to be so critical, knowing how hard it is to create something and I'll still look forward to further chapters.....
4/24/17, 9:07 PM
Clearly in my excitement to get this out, I glanced over Robs and Ryans and replaced them in my writing!! Will fix as they are noticed! Thank you!!!
Dadlover
4/24/17, 8:43 PM
Love the part with the ginger family. OMG you're the best
lloyd311@aol.com
4/24/17, 8:39 PM
Thanks for the feedback, Cliff. Let me take them one at a time: 1. I think what you are saying is that you wish there had been more description of the physical appearance of Tommy and Pete, and I think that is a fair criticism. I based these characters somewhat on real people, and have their appearances etched on my brain I think, so I probably didn't give as much detail as I should (Pete's not based on a real person, but it's stated he resembles another character, whom I did have a real person in mind for). I think there is more description of Tommy and Dave in the body of the story, but based on your comment I am now thinking maybe I could have given more... 2. This is definitely a 3rd person narrative, and it is almost exclusively from the point of view of Tommy. I can think of only one scene that is an exception, but I could be wrong there. And I agree that getting into the other characters heads would definitely give more insight into what are their motivations and what makes them tick. I just didn't write it that way. One reason perhaps - and this is a SPOILER ALERT - is that for most of the story I wanted the reader to not be sure about if this is all really happening, or if it is just a figment of Tom's imagination. Just some fantasy he invented. Or, I may just be using that as a rationalization after the fact. And there is definitely more humiliation - physical and otherwise - in the whole story. But it's almost all from Tommy's POV... 3. I'm really not sure what you are talking about here - I'll have to defer to the administrators as to how to answer this one. In any case, thanks so much for offering your comments. They are very much appreciated! Thanks, LLOYD
Anonymous
4/24/17, 8:37 PM
should be Ryan* sorry
Anonymous
4/24/17, 8:36 PM
Kyle even noticed Rob was hard in his underwear. That, in and of itself, wasn’t too shocking, considering Ryan always seemed to be hard whenever Kyle saw him at his place. the first Rob should be Eric I think. perfect story line with a shocking crossover you and robinrood70 are my favorite writers!
Anonymous
4/24/17, 7:31 PM
There, looking at them with sudden shock and what looked to be some disgust, was Eric, also nude and hard. Sean beamed with pride at how polite his youngest was being. Being nude and hard in the home of Professor Simons was number one in his book of manners. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This is really my favorite. It will be great to see the whole six guys later "politely" show their naked bodies and placed their cocks on the table for the professor to enjoy. Real arousing here. I wonder what types Eric's friends like Cody are? Simply jocks? Or some arrogant gangs like Alex? We need someone like him to be punished!
4/24/17, 4:11 PM
Fixed!! Keen eye! And thanks, everyone for the positive reaction! I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise that I'm going to do a finishing chapter on I Love Him, But... Tie that story together to lead into this one. Surprise!! :P